the state of modern dating
field notes on icks, apps, situationships and the whole chaotic landscape of dating right now. essays, explainers and receipts — updated weekly.
I think online dating has ruined dating
Not a rant. An autopsy. How swiping, gamified matching and infinite optionality quietly turned the most human thing we do into a slot machine — and what that actually costs us.
Online dating in 2026: apps, AI wingmen and the end of the swipe
Swiping is dying. AI is writing your DMs. Voice-first apps are having a moment. This is the state of online dating in 2026 — and how to actually survive it.
AI dating coaches: helpful wingman or biggest ick of 2026?
The apps have AI now. So does your date. So does the guy replying to you at 2am. Is the AI wingman actually helping anyone — or just making everyone sound the same?
Dating burnout is real: how to reset without deleting every app
You're tired. Every profile looks the same. Every conversation dies. Here's how to reset your dating life without doing the full nuclear delete.
Green flag texting habits that quietly predict a good relationship
The people you end up happy with text a very specific way. It's not about how fast — it's about how honest.
Hinge vs Tinder vs Bumble in 2026: which app has the least icks?
Every app has its own flavour of nightmare. We rate the big three on ick density, ghost rate, situationship risk and how quickly you'll want to delete it.
The ick after sleeping together: why it hits so hard
You went home together. You woke up. Suddenly the way they eat toast is a war crime. Here's what's actually happening when the post-hookup ick lands.
First date texting rules that don't make you look unhinged
The double text isn't dead — but the six-paragraph "hey stranger" definitely is. Here's how texting before, during and after a first date actually works in 2026.
How to end a situationship without ghosting (2026 edition)
You can't break up with someone you were never technically dating. You can, however, do this cleanly enough that neither of you ends up subtweeting the other.
Beige flags: the weirdly specific traits that decide your dating fate
Not a red flag. Not a green flag. Just… weird. Beige flags are the tiny, hyper-specific quirks that TikTok made the whole point of 2026 dating.
Top 20 dating icks people can't stop talking about
From chasing a ping-pong ball to saying "the missus", here are the 20 icks that show up in every group chat.
Situationship red flags: 12 signs you're the placeholder
They text every day, they never plan anything, they get weird when their phone lights up. Here are the situationship red flags nobody wants to admit they're living through.
First date green flags that actually matter
Not everything green is a green flag. These are the small first-date signals that quietly predict a good time.
How to rate a date: the Ickmeter scoring system explained
Our quiz gives every date a score out of 100. Here's how the ick math actually works, and why "100% green flag" gets a delulu warning.
Red flags vs icks: what's the actual difference?
A red flag says "this person is bad news". An ick says "this person just chased a ping-pong ball across a pub". Here's how to tell them apart before you ghost the wrong one.
What is an ick? The 2026 guide to sudden dating turn-offs
An ick is that instant, irrational full-body cringe when your crush does one specific thing and the vibe dies on the spot. Here's where it came from and why it's taking over dating.